Being able to build rapport with anyone will dramatically change your life! It will allow you to communicate more effectively which will open new opportunities as others connect with you. Rapport is the opposite of conflict. Think about that: a more conflict-free living by more rapport. Here are my 4 most powerful tips for successful rapport building.
Adapt your tone of voice and rhythm of speech to the person you are talking to ‑ make an effort to match them. If it’s very different from your own, go for a slight adjustment (think about Janice in Friends and you’ll know the opposite of rapport).
Listen. Really listen to what they are saying. Be curious, what are they paying attention to and why? Ask! Try to understand them. Don’t worry about what you would like to express, you will get the opportunity to do that. First, you listen and dig deeper.
Express your understanding and respect for the other person. Use this to see if you understood them correctly. You need to make sure you’ve listened carefully to details as well as the underlying dimensions before you move on.
Sooner or later the person will turn their attention to you and then you can share something you sincerely related to while listening to them, which will connect your story to theirs. Don’t be too eager to tell your story just yet. Yes, they are interested but don’t break rapport by focusing on yourself. Make sure to show them how their story helps you.
What really matters
If you master these steps, I can guarantee that you will feel more connected with others, and they with you as well. Remember, none of this matters if you’re not sincere and honest. There are people who can pull it off without being authentic, but I can’t see why you would like to become one of them. If you manage to fool someone you will experience emptiness – or accomplishment, in which case you should worry about becoming a psychopath.